Mermaid in a Tank...A Perfect Job for a Pregnant Momma in the Southern Heat

Outside of the tank in my new maternity tail by the Mertailor at 4 months pregnant

Giving my husband a kiss through the glass

Inspiring the next little mermaid....

I was delighted to be invited to be a part of PirateFest 2014 in Greenville, NC. Most of the time I work alone, so when I was able to work with my favorite mermaids from "The Real Mermaids" and "NC Merfolk" I was beyond thrilled! You would think that there would be a lot of competition between us, and I know that is so and in some circles it can be ruthless (maybe I will post about that sometime..boy do I have some stories!), but there is none of that in this group. We really support and help each other. I'm so blessed to have wonderful merfriends as these!

For the first time I performed in a tail I've never worn before. My friend and amazing tail maker, the Mertailor created my maternity tail. It is an innovative tail that can be taken apart in two pieces (perfect for when I'm huge and can't see my feet), and it is lined with neoprene. I could not wear my traditional silicone tail while pregnant, and even if I could, greasing myself up and going through the acrobatics to put it on just would not do in my condition. He added extra fabric to the seams so that as I got bigger I could let it out myself. The scales on it look as real as my silicone ones (they are silicone, just on top of neoprene), and putting on my tail in the tank was an easy task. I'm really glad that he suggested this for me. He's making me a custom painted one for my epic photo shoot at 7 months pregnant in July, but until then, this one will do perfectly for my work. On a side note, when I'm smaller again after my daughter is born, I can easily take it in and add it to my regular rotation of tails...or keep it as it is for baby #2....

The mermaids and I had fun rotating in and out of the tank. When we weren't swimming we were painting faces and taking pictures with our fans. Being in the tank felt like I was at home-I just love being underwater! People look hazy as they walk up to me, as if they're surrounded by glowing halos. I interacted with the children by playing with my light up crystals and blowing bubble hearts and kisses. I got really hot outside when working at the pirate show, so being in that water was a huge relief for me and baby. I overdid it and my merfriends were super compassionate as I rested in the tent. I am really grateful to them for taking such good care of me. I do look forward to returning the favor when one of them becomes a mermomma. Here's a video of me in the tank:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmEhnNpro0A

Getting fatigued is something that any pregnant woman has to prepare for. I used to work long hours with hardly any breaks, so getting tired for me is something very new. I am glad that I did get tired at this festival because it taught me that I need to have another mermaid work with me at long events just in case from now on. In talking with Mermaid Jessica I found out that she lives an hour away from my next gig in Charlotte, and after watching her performance and spending time with her I knew she would be the perfect mersister to join me in this gig. Isn't it wonderful when everything happens for a reason?

After the festival, we had a celebratory dinner thanks to our generous MerKing, Christomer Starfish, and a business meeting (this is a business after all :). I shared with everyone that as a new mother, I will be taking time away from the business part of mermaiding. I will still be mermaiding because it is a part of me, but I will not be traveling all over to do appearances and working as a mermaid. I will just be swimming for the fun of it. For every mother this choice is a hard one, and everyone is different, but for me, because this may be my only chance to be a mother, I want to be there with my daughter every second of it. I will do maybe a handful of appearances a year, and make a few custom sequined tails, but other than that, I will not be working. It's good to know that I have a strong group of mermaids and mermen to take care of my clients, and if you're reading this and thinking about hiring a professional mermaid, these are the best people to choose from! 

Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, but I wanted to cry when we left for the airport. It's just so hard to leave such beautiful, sweet, and amazing friends. At least my soul was rejuvenated :) My body was so tired I slept a lot of the flight back to Nashville. When we got home it all felt like a dream....

MerMommy in the Virgin Islands

Free diving over a shipwreck from WWII at 3 months pregnant

Exploring the coral reefs

Swimming in my wedding dress

You can see me swimming in it here: http://youtu.be/RXhz35qHT-E

The water of the VIs was amazing! Not only were there beautiful blends of aquas and sapphire blues, but just swimming in the water was rejuvenating to my body and spirit. Though my nausea was gone, I still had uncomfortable cramping and was tired and took a lot of naps. My merbaby was kicking so hard some days...I joked that it was like having Rick James kicking his muddy boots on Eddie Murphy's couch (from the Dave Chapelle sketch). Once I was in the ocean the cramping disappeared, the baby relaxed, and I felt like my old mermaid self again! I heeded my OB's advice to not dive too deep and hold my breath as long. The deepest I dove was within 15 feet and I kept my breath hold under a minute. I got to swim with sea life such as sting rays and sea turtles. I did not see any sharks or dolphins. I learned that dolphins are a gamble when you are pregnant as they can sense the pregnancy and have a negative reaction, so I was relieved to not swim with them. I love sharks but I don't feel comfortable swimming with them in my sequined tail so it was good that they were a no show too. 

You can see me swimming in my tail here: http://youtu.be/27tAmhvk8ow

I highly recommend mermaiding in the VIs. If you go, take a trip out with Wish Upon A Star boat charters. The captain is a true friend to merfolk and he charges a fraction of what other charters do and gives you more! I honestly don't know how he can afford this, but I immensely enjoyed spending the day on his boat and he had the best cinnamon rolls and other snacks this mermommy craved!

I look forward to going back to the VIs one day with my baby. The water was so amazing and the time I shared with my husband was truly magical. I know that I love what I do, but every time I mermaid in the ocean I get this feeling that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. It was truly a life affirming experience!

MerMommy in Puerto Rico...

Enjoying the legendary Rincon sunset!

Can you see my baby bump?

Puerto Rico was beautiful! I was amazed at how beautiful the coral was near Steps Beach. It reminded me of the western coast of Australia, but I liked it even more! I got to swim face to face with a sea turtle. The fish were very friendly, and as they came close, I made sure not to touch them so I would not remove any of their protective slime from their scales. But they were so unafraid of me, it was hard not to touch them as they wanted to touch me by swimming up so close-even swimming into my hands! The humpback whales were to be coming through the area but we did not see any. I was hoping to swim with them....maybe next time! The sun and saltwater was just what I needed to feel better. I was nauseated and throwing up until the day we arrived in San Juan. I was so thankful just to be able to move around and not be so sick every second of it! As I relaxed underwater and moved with the current, I felt like I could breathe again. It's a hard feeling to describe, but to other mermaids who are reading this, you totally get what I mean here. We also made new friends and I even met a store owner who would like to sell my artwork and mermaid tops and tails! I have so much going on but maybe one day you will be able to buy some of my products in Rincon...

Reactions to a MerMommy

Underwater with my trident while one month pregnant

Something I was not prepared for were the reactions of friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers to my pregnancy. Those who were the closest to me knew my struggles with my disease and my desires to be a mother. It was shocking to me that one of those friends could no longer be a friend of mine now that I had my miracle baby.  I guess to her I had everything now, and therefore, I was a reminder of what she didn't have, rather than her friend who was expecting a baby. It was very sad for me because we were extremely close, but these things can and do happen and I've moved on.

I've had acquaintances be overjoyed and extremely supportive, even making gifts for me and the baby. This outpouring of love from people that I knew, but weren't really close with felt wonderful, and helped me get through losing a friend.

There have been extreme polar opposite reactions from complete strangers. I've had people congratulate me and then I've been told by other pregnant women that I should have an abortion because of what I do. These women did not take into account that I have been married for five years, that we own our house and land (free and clear in a few months), that I am well educated with a Master's degree, have traveled the world, volunteer and give back to my community, and above all these things am a compassionate good-hearted woman who wants to be a mother. Because of my career, I can work only a few times a year and be at home with my baby, never having to put my child in a daycare. These women flaunt their ignorance of basic biology by saying "you're starving your baby of oxygen". Your baby does not take a breath every time you do. No pregnant woman should all of a sudden become a mermaid, but because I have been training in this for years regularly, my baby is safe. My OB and I went over healthy boundaries while mermaiding for my baby, and if what I do is ok with him, then really it's no one else's business to tell me any different.

I'm extremely grateful for the mermaid community. They have been the most enthused and supportive friends during this time. Their outpouring of love has given me strength and hope. I have been leaning on my mermaid friends a lot during this time, and they have not let me down. I love them so much! The MerKing himself is throwing us a baby shower at the next MerFest. This will be amazing!

The First Trimester

I'm one month pregnant in this photo

I had an easier time with the Lupron treatments, the surgery, and the endometriosis pain than I did with the constant nausea and vomiting that came with my first trimester. I had to quit all work. I could barely drive, let alone get to my destination. I tried to swim through it, but when I was throwing up at the side of the pool I knew I had to give in to the sickness and stop fighting. No one wants to be known as the pukey mermaid anyways lol! I am so grateful to my husband who took the best care of me during this time. Not for a moment did he make me feel bad for not working. He even hired help for me around the house during the day because I could not even maintain our home, it was a challenge to care for myself. I tried every natural remedy for the nausea, I was so desperate to get my life back! Nothing worked. My doctor put me on Zofran, which is an anti-nausea medication prescribed to chemo patients as well as pregnant women. For me, it took away the nausea but gave me strong lower stomach pains, so I stopped taking it because it did not help. Oddly, I did not lose weight during this time, but gained about 6 pounds. I guess I gained all of that because I normally swim so much, and then I went from highly athletic and active to being extremely tired, or was awake but unable to move much. The weather was especially cold and gloomy during that time, and I think maybe I would have felt better if the sun were out. I was looking forward to going to the Caribbean at the end of the trimester. Maybe mermaiding in the ocean was just what I needed! I looked forward to that trip every day. It felt like forever.....

Winning the MerOlympics....While Pregnant!

MerPals and I at MerFest

I had been training for months to compete in the MerOlympics at MerFest, January 3-5th. I had worked really hard on my underwater lyrical dance especially. I never wanted to win anything so badly and because I put in months of rigorous training and dieting (for strength, not for losing weight. I also cut out alcohol) after being sick for so long on the Lupron, winning the gold would mean the world to me. There would be mermaids and mermen from all over the United States as well as Canada competing so I wasn't holding my breath that I would win, I was just going to give the competition my best and that was that.

Besides the MerOlympics, there was a lot going on at the festival, and it was exciting to see old friends and meet new ones. I was absolutely glowing from the love and friendship everyone passed on to each other, even my husband who normally just puts up with the mercommunity was touched by the compassion and generosity that was shown. I had no idea that I could have been glowing from a little merbaby swimming inside of me...

I did notice at MerFest that I was more tired than usual and unable to keep up with the celebratory drinking and partying late at night (thank goodness!). I took frequent breaks, even missing a photoshoot after a Mer-themed fashion show where I was a model. Other than that I had no clue that I was pregnant.

The day of the MerOlympics I gave it my all. I was exhilarated to see that I was being judged by Thom Shouse, the man who worked on the iconic Splash! tail because that movie has been an inspiration to me since childhood. Everyone performed their best, and honestly, I thought it was the luck of the draw as to who would win. I burst into tears when I was named the overall winner.

 My Underwater Lyrical Dance (Photo by Steve Anton)

Hanging out Next to the Pool (Photo by Cate Vail)

Pre-MerPregnancy...

Mermaid Bonnie in Oahu

I am a professional mermaid, but when the tail comes off, I am a woman just like any other. Well...almost. I have been battling severe endometriosis for years, and a year ago had surgery to remove most of it. After the surgery, I then had to get Lupron injections for six months, putting me through early menopause with all of its lovely symptoms. At least I was able to turn the hot flashes into a positive attribute because it enabled me to endure the colder waters of Oahu when I got to swim out there as a mermaid. Swimming was my main source of training (of course), and I was able to complete the Lupron successfully without the harrowing side effects I've read online.

It took just over two months for my cycle to return from the Lupron (funny story about that...I started my first period in almost 9 months in a shark tank! No wonder the reef sharks swam so close!). A few weeks after that, I had a an appointment with my doctor who had temporarily cured me of the endometriosis and we discussed my options for getting pregnant. I had an 18 month window before the disease returned and I'd have to resume treatment. It didn't look like I'd get pregnant anytime soon, I mean, my body was just starting normalize, and these things take time. The doctor gave me suggestions to help conception in the future and it looked like if it was meant to happen, that maybe it would happen in a year or so. I left the office very hopeful.

I got pregnant just 2 days later....